Saying “NO” Gracefully, Part 2

by Rev. Rita Scheibeck

Last week we talked about some of the mental and emotional roadblocks to decluttering our lives by saying “no” more often. As we discussed, it's not as easy to say no as it might seem. But as frequently as I encounter this dynamic in my readings, I thought I’d pass along some guidance often recommended to the over-committed by Spirit Guides.

First of all, Spirit recommends that we admit that we are indeed, over- committed. Without this thoughtful, crucial acknowledgement to ourselves, and the support from others who can see our situation clearly, we won’t move forward with our decisions to un-clutter our lives.

Then we must deal with our emotions in a logical, complete and honest way. Yes, we’ll experience a loss at not seeing some of our friends on a frequent basis. Yes, for a short while we may feel a little less confident about ourselves without the praise and accolades we received for our proven abilities. Yes, it’s necessary to release our fears about the future of our current positions. And finally, most of us know on an intellectual level that we can’t please all of the people all of the time. Many of us try, which is how we get ourselves over-burdened in the first place. We absolutely must get comfortable with the fact that not everyone is going to like our decision to slow down.

So how do we say no in a way that satisfies most others and leaves us feeling good about our choice to take better care of ourselves? Well, the truth, as we know it, is always a good place to start, and comes strongly suggested by Spirit.

"I find that my time is over-committed and I’m truly worried about physical (or emotional, or mental) burn out. I need to take a break from my responsibilities here.”

"I’ve had a wonderful experience in this organization. I’ve learned a great deal, changed my outlook on many issues, and grown so much intellectually spiritually. Now I’m at a point where I would like to pass this wonderful opportunity to someone else."

"I have loved being of service to others in this position. Now I want to make room in my life for some new challenges and growth experiences for myself."

"The intuition from my Spirit has been telling me that it’s time to give my life some space for restoration and renewal."

The ideas above are just a few thoughts to get us started on a path to better spiritual health by paring down a too-crowded schedule. It's also important to use our own intuition to find the right words for limiting our surplus obligations. Spirit frequently recommends that when these suggestions cause too much stress for us, it’s a good idea to practice our statements in the mirror or with a good friend. This technique helps us make sure our sincerity and our love for the others involved are clear.

I have personally had great success in using these processes and statements, not only to have more “me” time, but to release commitments that had become unacceptable for other reasons. I have sometimes been met with heavy resistance to withdrawing from certain positions, but gently, firmly and confidently standing up for what was best for me at the time helped get me through the arguments from others.

So don’t give up! You can do it! When you do, you’ll find great satisfaction in freeing up some time for you, and all the benefits that come from taking better care of yourself.

Affirmation: I now accept the wisdom and spiritual guidance I’m given to free up the commodity of my time in favor of more personal and spiritual pursuits.

I now allow, acknowledge, accept and affirm that these things are so.

As a regular contributor to "The Rose", Rev. Rita's column "Sacred Thoughts" will feature her blog posts. She is a psychic psychometrist available for readings in person or by phone.

Feel free to contact her for details by email at revritascheibeck@gmail.com or by phone or text at 352-284-8609